2 posts in one night! Well, I'm depressed. When I'm depressed, I think. I analyze and psychoanalyze. Don't really have anyone else to talk about this, just not something I'm comfortable talking about. So why I don't I just talk about it here, where absolutely anyone in the world can see it anytime they want, even the people I am talking about? (That was sarcasm. I find it difficult to convey that when I write. Need to work on that) Anyway, the reason I'm fine with writing about it here and not talking about it to someone who knows me and would probably understand it better, is that its annonymous. Its like walking around in a big city like London or New York. There are so many people around you all that time, that almost anything you do can go by unnoticed if you want it to. Blogging is like that isn't it? You can write about anything you want to, and chances are that it'll not get discovered unless you want to. You could publicize your blog and then you'd get people to notice, but random blogs hidden away somewhere could be great places to vent. It'd be like telling the world what you thought of it, without it actually hearing.
Anyway, what I was thinking about was families. In our part of the world (the East), we have this holier than thou attitude towards the West because unlike them, we 'value' families. We make time for them, we'd do anything to keep them from breaking up, we hold on to not just immediate family but extended family too. In the West, everything's developed and all, but they lack the simple basic family values that we have. Who needs all those modern amenities, comforts and tools for development anyway. We have our family. We'd rather hold on to that than become 'Westernized'. Did you know the divorce rate in the US is 50%? :O
How much is it helping us though? I'm a die hard patriot, I try my best to convince myself that I don't ape the 'West' in any way possible and I only take what is good, and remain true to my Eastern values in all other ways. But what are 'our' values? I am yet to see a marriage that I can look at and wish I would have one like that some day. Almost all of my many many cousins have had serious marital issues, and been on the brink of divorce at least once or more. Sure, every relationship goes through bad patches, but these have been more than that. Every time this happens, the family gets together, decides that its best for the husband and wife to give it another shot, because they are practical issues to think about. Recently, a friend found out that her 30-something year old husband was cheating on her with a 19 year old. Needless to say, they separated. The husband refuses to admit his fault, they haven't been able to talk to each other for more than 5 minutes without it turning into another huge fight, and yet the families are meeting to discuss reconciliation. 'Practical' issues they say. How will the woman live by herself? How will she raise their young sons alone? What will people say? I'm not being idealistic. I don't need to have a child of my own to know that being a single mom will be extremely difficult, but when I consider the other option, living once as more as the wife of such a man, I would rather we faced that than risk being burned again.
What are families really? People that love you and support you all the time? People you can come back to anytime you want, and know that they'll still care if not understand. Why then in our part of the world, do we have this uniform notion of the ideal size of a family, the ideal composition (father, mother, son, daughter), ideal relationships, ideal roles and all the rest?I have an amazing family at home, but I also consider some of my friends to be family. If my parents were to split up tomorrow, I'd still consider them both family. How many of our families are really together because of the right reasons, and not just because they're afraid of what people will say? Does marriage really make sense? Are there any truly happy families?
I'm happy living at home with my family right now because I know that if I want, I can go off by myself for 6 months, a year, 2 years etc. What happens when I get married and have kids? I won't be able to do that then. Imagine living with the same people for all your life, knowing that there is no escape and 'till death do us part' holds firm? I haven't yet met a person-man or woman- that I think I could make marriage work with. I honestly don't see it happening either. Right now, I'm very disillusioned with the idea anyway. Would we be abandoning our culture and aping the West if we realized that we do really have one life to live and that we need to be free to spend it with whom we liked? But then again, can you really imagine a society without families?
These are very random thoughts. I realize there is no coherance of any sort. I might even be contradicting myself in places. I plead mental instability.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Pensive Musings
Hmm. I don't know if pensive is the right way to describe how I'm feeling right now. Its more than that. I feel lost, like I can see my life slipping by, and I'm not doing what I want with it. The only thing is, I don't know what I want. I'm fairly young. These are meant to be the best years of my life. Well, this year doesn't seem to be the best year of my life. I feel guilty about that. Don't want to get into why I feel guilty, but well, I do. I hate guilt. So much.
Anyway, this wasn't what I'm meant to be writing about. I was just listening to some music, and thinking about how some songs say EXACTLY what you feel like. What would my song be? The first one that comes into my head is 'Wide Open Spaces' by the Dixie Chicks. The lyrics of that song are just so brilliant. And they just say everything I've thought for so long.
'Who doesn't know, what I'm talking about,
Who's never left home, never struck out,
To find a dream and a life of their own,
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone.
Many preceed, many will follow,
A young girl's dreams no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out West,
But what it holds for her,
She hasn't yet guessed.
She needs,
Wide Open Spaces,
Room to make a big mistake,
She needs,
New faces
She knows the high stakes.
She travelled this road as a child
Wide eyed and grinning she never tired
But now she won't be coming back with the rest
If these are life's lessons,
She'll take this test.
She needs,
..Repeat
As her folks drive away,
Her dad yells check the oil,
Mom stares out of the window and says I'm a leavin my girl
She said it didn't feel like I left long away
When she stood there
And let her own folks go.
She needs,
Wide Open Spaces
...Repeat'
Another one, that I think so perfect is again by the Dixie Chicks (I LOVE them. Kinda obvious huh?Well, they sing about my life! Who won't like that) Its called 'Cowboy take me away'.Again, brilliant lyrics. There was a line particularly that said something like take me to a place where there are no buildings for miles and miles and all I can see is the sky and the clouds. Made so much sense to me.
Father and Son by Cat Stevens, later well re-made by him and Ronan Keating, is another brilliant song. A lot of things that the son says to the father, I've often wished I could say to my dad, but I don't think I ever will.
Another one I love is Stay the Same- Joey McIntyre. Yes, I should be ashamed of admitting to liking teeny bopper numbers, but well a. I was a teenager when that came out and b. the lyrics do make sense! And I've never really understand the argument against boy bands anyway. Sure in public I refuse to admit I still have some Boyzone and Backstreet Boys songs hidden away in my iPod,but really whats the harm? I've heard things like, they can't play instruments so they aren't good musicians. That doesn't make a lot of sense does it? Not everyone can do everything! At least appreciate the fact that they can sing. I've heard about how they're only looking for publicity and fame, and its not really about the music. Well P-Diddy,Whitney Houston, Kurt Cobain, Eminem,and just about everyone else in the music industry has had enough negative publicity to match these guys'. They don't write their own lyrics? Again, they call themselves singers, not song writers so that should be all right. And their lyrics are cheesy and don't make sense. Well ya can't argue with that, but then again look at things like Candy Shop-50 cents, Milkshake-Kelis, Beautiful Girls by some new hip hop guy that I can't remember the name of!
Anyway I digress. So these are just some really good songs that make a lot of sense to me. What I find curious is that a song that totally touch one person could have absolutely no affect at all on the next person. Sure you might have liked these songs when they came out, but you probably never even noticed the lyrics, merely hummed the music for a while and then moved on to the next new number. If anyone's reading this, I'd be very interested in knowing what songs really moved you, or reminded you of your own life. Would be interesting to know if anyone else feels similarly about these, or other songs!
Anyway, this wasn't what I'm meant to be writing about. I was just listening to some music, and thinking about how some songs say EXACTLY what you feel like. What would my song be? The first one that comes into my head is 'Wide Open Spaces' by the Dixie Chicks. The lyrics of that song are just so brilliant. And they just say everything I've thought for so long.
'Who doesn't know, what I'm talking about,
Who's never left home, never struck out,
To find a dream and a life of their own,
A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone.
Many preceed, many will follow,
A young girl's dreams no longer hollow
It takes the shape of a place out West,
But what it holds for her,
She hasn't yet guessed.
She needs,
Wide Open Spaces,
Room to make a big mistake,
She needs,
New faces
She knows the high stakes.
She travelled this road as a child
Wide eyed and grinning she never tired
But now she won't be coming back with the rest
If these are life's lessons,
She'll take this test.
She needs,
..Repeat
As her folks drive away,
Her dad yells check the oil,
Mom stares out of the window and says I'm a leavin my girl
She said it didn't feel like I left long away
When she stood there
And let her own folks go.
She needs,
Wide Open Spaces
...Repeat'
Another one, that I think so perfect is again by the Dixie Chicks (I LOVE them. Kinda obvious huh?Well, they sing about my life! Who won't like that) Its called 'Cowboy take me away'.Again, brilliant lyrics. There was a line particularly that said something like take me to a place where there are no buildings for miles and miles and all I can see is the sky and the clouds. Made so much sense to me.
Father and Son by Cat Stevens, later well re-made by him and Ronan Keating, is another brilliant song. A lot of things that the son says to the father, I've often wished I could say to my dad, but I don't think I ever will.
Another one I love is Stay the Same- Joey McIntyre. Yes, I should be ashamed of admitting to liking teeny bopper numbers, but well a. I was a teenager when that came out and b. the lyrics do make sense! And I've never really understand the argument against boy bands anyway. Sure in public I refuse to admit I still have some Boyzone and Backstreet Boys songs hidden away in my iPod,but really whats the harm? I've heard things like, they can't play instruments so they aren't good musicians. That doesn't make a lot of sense does it? Not everyone can do everything! At least appreciate the fact that they can sing. I've heard about how they're only looking for publicity and fame, and its not really about the music. Well P-Diddy,Whitney Houston, Kurt Cobain, Eminem,and just about everyone else in the music industry has had enough negative publicity to match these guys'. They don't write their own lyrics? Again, they call themselves singers, not song writers so that should be all right. And their lyrics are cheesy and don't make sense. Well ya can't argue with that, but then again look at things like Candy Shop-50 cents, Milkshake-Kelis, Beautiful Girls by some new hip hop guy that I can't remember the name of!
Anyway I digress. So these are just some really good songs that make a lot of sense to me. What I find curious is that a song that totally touch one person could have absolutely no affect at all on the next person. Sure you might have liked these songs when they came out, but you probably never even noticed the lyrics, merely hummed the music for a while and then moved on to the next new number. If anyone's reading this, I'd be very interested in knowing what songs really moved you, or reminded you of your own life. Would be interesting to know if anyone else feels similarly about these, or other songs!
Monday, December 24, 2007
New Beginnings
This is my second attempt at blogging. I started a blog before but I didn't think it was going anywhere, and I wasn't sure if it was something I wanted anyone else to read so I killed it. (Tried to make it as painless as possible but my internet connection was giving me trouble so I'm afraid it died a slow death)
I've met a lot of very enthusiastic bloggers which gave me the idea of starting one of my own. I haven't quite grasped the purpose of a blog, more specifically, the purpose of my blog so I don't know how long this one will last. Here's to a long prosperous life! *clinks glass with pretend readers, looking pensive and glassy eyed*
Oh and the title is an analogy I came up with myself. Not very poetic, probably not very meaningful, but just how I feel sometimes. It seems as though I am living in a snow globe made of glass. Just when everything seems to settle down, someone gives it a good shake so that all the little bits inside go whirling around and change how everything looks. The little people inside seem to see the world changing around them, both inside the globe and outside. The outside world seems very near, but there's always something-a thin, nearly invisible barrier-holding them inside the globe.
I've met a lot of very enthusiastic bloggers which gave me the idea of starting one of my own. I haven't quite grasped the purpose of a blog, more specifically, the purpose of my blog so I don't know how long this one will last. Here's to a long prosperous life! *clinks glass with pretend readers, looking pensive and glassy eyed*
Oh and the title is an analogy I came up with myself. Not very poetic, probably not very meaningful, but just how I feel sometimes. It seems as though I am living in a snow globe made of glass. Just when everything seems to settle down, someone gives it a good shake so that all the little bits inside go whirling around and change how everything looks. The little people inside seem to see the world changing around them, both inside the globe and outside. The outside world seems very near, but there's always something-a thin, nearly invisible barrier-holding them inside the globe.
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